One Thing by Geneva Kelly

One Thing…

By: Geneva Kelly

    As a follow up to a previous article, and my usual quest to examine the differences between men and women, I asked around to find the answer to one more question.  I asked at work, and then posted it on social media.  If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be?  Would you want them to talk less?  Laugh more?  Change their hairstyle or clothing choice?  Or possibly have an attitude adjustment.

    Quite a few women said, “I would change his attention span, or his lack of communication.”

    Men joked around by saying, “I would change her nagging, or her decision making.”

    Mostly, men echoed complaints about how women take forever to get ready.

    “When my girlfriend promises to be ready in five minutes, that five minutes shouldn’t really mean 30,” said a handsome 20-something.

    “Guys don’t have a clue what it’s like to walk in 3 to 6 inch heels,” I said, in defense of my stylish mama’s.  “Deciding what to wear just based on your shoes takes time.”

    Another guy told me, “My girl is too passive.  I don’t like to pull things out of her head.”

    I found that interesting to hear from a man.

    Along the lines of being passive, another guy stated clearly, “She should be more assertive in the bedroom.”

    Following was a women that mentioned her man was boring and she felt like tapping the walls while they were having sex.

    I wondered if by simply communicating with one another, those things could change.  Because it’s such a sensitive subject no one wants to be vulnerable enough to bring it up.  All of these complaints could have a remedy if we were honest with one another.   And even if they didn’t change, making someone aware of how you feel could release you from possible resentment.

    A new dad in his 40’s answers the question by saying, “I would change everything!”

    Apparently the lack of sleep is getting to him.

    On-line a male friend on Facebook said he would change his first wife’s problem with infidelity.  For wife number two, he would miraculously alleviate her manipulative skills.  And wife number three?

    “That will never happen!” He said.

    I can’t say I blame him.

    While still on Facebook, several women said they wish their men weren’t so cheap.  Others wished their men didn’t spend so much money.  Women agreed that they would want their men to be more exciting, because sitting at home every day is just not enough to keep the spark going.

    I found it funny that men and women alike would both change things like snoring, belching, cleaning, smoking, and the amount of time they spend with their family.

    After days of asking, it surprised me that both genders agreed they would change the amount of drinking their partner does.  One guy in his 30’s said, “I wish she realized how small she is.  When she drinks, I babysit.  And I don’t mean the kids.”

    The one that stood out the most however was when one lady, also in her 30’s said, “He has been drunk every day for the last 10 years!”

    She clearly did not want to deal with it anymore.

    Only one person, married for 20 years to her high school sweet heart, said, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

    After gathering this info I don’t really believe we are that different after all.  Most of us simply want meaningful relationships; partnerships.  We want to be recognized by the person standing next to us.  Though some extra finances and excitement don’t hurt either.

    I’m pretty certain my significant other would say, “I wish she wasn’t so bossy.”

    If only he just did what I asked him to do!  See— I don’t have a problem with the truth.  Do you?

Henry (Hank) Heitmann

WORD SONG Interview with Henry Heitmann  (in  memorium)

by Gary McLouth, Associate Editor

March 4, 2016

Henry Heitmann, author of Pocket Full of Tales; More Tales and Bits and Pieces; Looking Back On Life, all published by Monarch Books, Florida.

Henry (Hank) Heitmann has garnered a number of writing contest awards during the last few years from The GCWA of Mississippi, The Florida Weekly (poetry), Dreamquest Summer 2015, and the ABC 2016 Anthology of Florida Writers and Poets Competition.

Hank and I met for talk, breakfast and coffee at Marko’s Diner on San Carlos Blvd., recently. I was pleasantly surprised by Hank’s South Bronx accent, a near total contrast to the quiet voice in his poetic reflections and his poignant “Tales.” His educational experiences with Special Ed. students and teachers provided Hank with all kinds of stories. He admits that he’s been telling the stories for years, but he decided as soon as he retired that he would start writing them.

I stir more milk into my coffee and ask him how it’s going. Hank’s big brown eyes roll up at me.

“What I’ve heard and seen is what I try to get down on paper. The stories have been working my head for a long time, and retirement seemed like the time to write them out so I could share them. My wife encourages me, luckily, without her, I don’t think there’d be many stories written down.”

“I went to a GCWA meeting about five years ago and just randomly sat down next to Ken Feeley. Over a few meetings, he became my mentor. I also got valuable feedback from Ruben and Tim. I met other writers and learned about publishing and writing from them. What ended up happening… GCWA gave me the self-image of a writer, it put me in the midst of other writers, made me feel at home.”

Hank talked about his special relationship with books that began in his grandmother’s house back there in the Bronx. While other kids saved nickels for  Bazooka bubble-gum, Hank saved up to buy books. What about books, now, I ask.

“I like to hold a book in my hand. Even with all of the Kindles and Nooks and variety of ‘pads’ and screens, there’s still room for paper. Keep in mind, books are less harmful to the environment.”

Really? I thought paper books cost trees. What do you mean, exactly?

“I’d rather spend money on books than money on weapons of war,” Hank says, and I don’t have a rejoinder beyond a grunt.

Since Hank has mentioned money, I wonder aloud how he’s doing with the writing-publishing-marketing cycle. He gives me the slow, sad look I’ve seen on the faces of many writers who thought the work of writing was the be-all-and-end-all, the brass ring at their fingertips. “Marketing,” his voice trails off. Hank has worked diligently to complete all of his beginnings. Three books have pretty much left his cupboard of drafts, bare.

“I want to write a novel,” he says, “got one started called Out of Nonna’s Kitchen, It’s a sort of mystery-cookbook story.” His eyes find mine to see if I get it. I’m hoping I don’t squint a doubting glance. I know how that feels, and he does too, as he explains the plot to me, which I promise not to reveal to anyone else.

Before we go, Hank signs three books for me, and since I’ve already read a number of his stories, I’m eagerly heading home for a “Hanksta” fix. A sample: Still Dreaming – “Sitting on the dock/In the early morning sun/The tiny ripples on the lake/Beating out a gentle rhythm/A part of nature’s breathing/And giving life to ancient daydreams.”

The breakfast at Marko’s is what gives Diners their beloved place in American lore. Hank has hardly touched his abundant serving of eggs, hash browns, sausage and gravy. “There’s a sense of permanence in print,” he says, “I can pass it along to my family and friends. A new found passion in life is a good thing.”

Twitter for Authors

What is a tweat?

We hear a lot about Facebook, but what about the other four recommended platforms. Twitter is one of those, and just like Facebook, you need to understand how to do it correctly.

For instance, Twitter allows a 140 letter character limit, which is something not known to many people. This is just to show you what 140 letter characters look like, which can be a few spaces to compose all your thoughts.

Twitter is also where the # hashtag originated. Using this wonderful character is all you need to help you build an audience and get connected to your audience.

Whenever you make a post, add a few keywords with the # in front of it (no space between), and you will see suggested groups who use the same. Whenever you use one of these hashtag words, your post will be listed whenever someone searches that hashtag. So for instance, #books are great for #reading will get your post listed on those two groups.

On the reverse side, you can search those phrases and find other people who are posting about the same things and then connect with them.

Happy Following!

Jenn FitzGerald

Book Design & Publishing